nervous

Tomorrow's the big day! Lucas's 2nd CI will be activated. My emotions are just about everywhere... I'm nervous, anxious, thrilled, elated, excited, worried, relieved. I feel like we've been waiting so long for this day. I still remember his first activation day, and asking his surgeon when we could schedule the 2nd surgery. He told us no time soon. I was crushed, seriously crushed. I never gave up hope though, and here we are, 1 month short of 2 years later, and Lucas is about to get bilateral access to sound. I can't wait to see how the 2nd CI enhances his hearing abilities. can.not.wait.

I believe that he hears with his current ear as well as he can absolutely, possibly hear. It is utterly amazing to see what he can hear, what he can understand and what he can discriminate with that one bionic ear. I'll say it once, and I'll say it again - I never in a million years thought that he would hear this well. Never ever. You really have to see it to believe it. It's indescribable.

In so many ways, I'm worried that he will have a difficult adjustment period to his new ear. He will not be able to hear well with it tomorrow. We are seriously starting from scratch. It will be beeps and buzzes. I've been told that it will take less time for his brain to make sense of this new electronic sound than the first one did, but it will still be an adjustment. 

I'm totally up for the challenge though. In some ways I miss the fervor with which I approached teaching him to listen the first time around. I lived it and breathed it for so long, and then it clicked. We've just kind of been coasting along lately, because he's doing so well. No complaints. I'm ready to pull some old tricks out of my sleeves and get to work though. But, I need a cooperative almost 3-year-old with which to work. When we were at CHOP in October, Lucas would not let the audiologist map him. He could not stand for the magnet to be on his head and not be turned on, even when I explained to him what was happening. There will be a lot of that tomorrow. I've been told that 3 is a magic age though, so we'll just wait and see, and hope for a good day. 

What can I bribe with with? I know... Baja Fresh. Wait, that's for me!!!!!!!!